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Ian The Poet
24-10-2009, 07:08 PM
Recently I was given the task of writing a short testimony of my Spiritual life and I thought I might as well post it here and see what response it would get. The reason that it is written in an anonymous manner was that it was going to be shown to many strangers and I was to keep it short without mention of names of people or places that are alive or real; (ie I mention Thomas Merton that was acceptable.) Any way here it is please tell me what you think of it, yes I know are atheists here, but we are all human and it is our own choice to accept God or not.


I was baptised in a local Church of England Church as a baby. I went to school without really encountering God, mainly as I never went to a church and my parents never really encouraged me to go as they were severely brought up to attend church regularly and did not want to enforce it on me. While at my secondary school I did encounter God through religious education, where I was once forced to pray for the bullies that attacked me, it put me off God. So I left school and started work and soon settled into a pagan type lifestyle, mainly drink.
The next time I encountered God was when I was thirty years of age at the local hospital where I worked, some nurses ran a Christian fellowship group and I was encouraged to go along. (It was only a long time afterwards that one of the nurses said they had prayed for me to join.) Of course I was very apprehensive and did not want in at first. I was encouraged to read the bible, however I had a King James version and because like all books I read it from the beginning and found it hard going. The fellowship then encouraged me to read the New Testament, here I discovered Jesus, who soon became my best mate. I was still struggling with my reading until someone introduced me to a modern translation of the bible.
I soon went to the church that I was baptised in and soon became a Christian, I do not like the words born again they just do not feel right. I started to learn to love God and his Son, and then most glorious for me the Holy Spirit. I soon felt forgiven for rejecting God at school.
I then went onto learn about retreats and soon found them a refreshing way of meeting God. In 1997 I finally decided I wanted to do a thirty-day retreat at a Catholic retreat centre just outside London. Here I discovered a man called Thomas Merton through his autobiography, 'A Seven Storey Mountain.' I recognised something in him that I was very similar to me, and then I started investigating monasteries and the Catholic Church.
Finally in 1999 I was received into the Roman Catholic Church, it was a new start for me I was starting look more seriously into becoming a monk; then it happened my health took a nose dive. At first I thought God was punishing me for running too fast into a ministry for myself instead of God. The monks at two of the monasteries I visited started to pray for me, my health did not improve and I was way past the joining up age.
Jesus is still my mate and Thomas Merton's work still inspires me, my prayer life has taken a tumble as has my bible reading. I am hoping that this forum will rekindle God's Spirit in me.
By the way I am in no kind of way an orthodox Christian or Catholic. I believe in a realist point of view in life, because that is where we have to live. And at forty-nine years of age (yes nearly fifty), that is the way I live. I have now worked at that hospital for thirty-two plus years and I meet all kinds of people each day, and some of them challenge me in how I live.

Henry P
24-10-2009, 07:26 PM
This is quite brave of you to bare your religious stance in this way. I am a Christian , brought up a Catholic, but increasingly disillusioned by many of its ways, yet unwilling to make the leap to any other denomination, for the reason that any church is led by flawed people who have little claim on the absolute truth of God's purpose. yet I feel an affinity with you because of our ages and similar beliefs. Good luck in my church, but keep an open mind.

Ian The Poet
24-10-2009, 07:35 PM
I have nearly always had an open mind, thanks. I think this answers your question. Thankyou.

'By the way I am in no kind of way an orthodox Christian or Catholic. I believe in a realist point of view in life, because that is where we have to live.'

Nature's heartbeat
24-10-2009, 07:56 PM
Hi Ian,

Thanks for sharing this and letting us get to know you a bit more. Don't really know what to say other than that cause I believe that it's every person's choice to believe or not believe in God, and choose to belong to a religion or not, out of their own free will and investigation.

Personally I have chosen to be a Bahá'í, and believe that the God that for instance Christians believe in is the same as the one Muslims believe in and the same as the one that Bahá'ís believe in, even though people of other religions may not agree. I've had people who are Christian tell me that their faith is the only true one and all other false, and even come across some Muslims who have said things too...I think this categorizing of people into believers and non-believers is futile, and that only God really knows what's inside a person's heart and have a right to judge people that way. On the other hand I know other, less judgmental Christians and Muslims too. I have a Catholic friend who is involved in the ecumenic focolare movement, and some Muslim friends too as well as friends from all kinds of other religious and non-religious backgrounds who are interested in dialogue and understanding each other better and making this place that we live in a better place for all.

I feel that people who are *pagan* (not sure how you define this but it seems as though you see it as something negative from your statement) may react against this statement: "a pagan type lifestyle, mainly drink"...Not sure that it is typically pagan to drink. In fact I know many religious people who drink alcohol...

Gardenhead
24-10-2009, 08:18 PM
I'll echo Henry's stance here - good on you to put this out there. There's no point hiding away what you believe.

I would also like flag up your use of the word 'pagan' though. You seem to be using it to describe a hedonistic lifestyle, recklessness and ungodliness, which is not fair at all. Paganism in its many forms is just as much a religion as Christianity, and its followers can have all the same virtues and vices. We're all human.

I think you should also be owed congratulations on holding down a job in the same place for 32 years ;)

Mr. Blocks
25-10-2009, 01:13 AM
Finally in 1999 I was received into the Roman Catholic Church, it was a new start for me I was starting look more seriously into becoming a monk; then it happened my health took a nose dive. At first I thought God was punishing me for running too fast into a ministry for myself instead of God. The monks at two of the monasteries I visited started to pray for me, my health did not improve and I was way past the joining up age.
Jesus is still my mate and Thomas Merton's work still inspires me, my prayer life has taken a tumble as has my bible reading.

I am hoping that this forum will rekindle God's Spirit in me.

By the way I am in no kind of way an orthodox Christian or Catholic. I believe in a realist point of view in life, because that is where we have to live.

What stopped you from thinking your failing health was not a test from god? I've heard many Christians take that stance, and is how they are still able to be as faithful as ever. I can understand why people choose what you did, and those who choose to stick with it. It's interesting why people decide to choose either way.

You're hoping this forum will rekindle god's spirit in you? How do you expect that to happen?

What exactly is a "realist" point of view?

---

I'm Atheist by the way. Not that it makes any difference.

I believe we have a choice in life. Do we follow what other people decided was truth (Christianity, Muslim, Hindu, Sikh, Buddisum, etc) or do we figured this wonderful place out on our own?

EDIT: My name is Ian also (^_^)b

Gardenhead
25-10-2009, 01:27 AM
Oh, and I'd encourage you to revisit the King James Bible by the way. All the modern versions I've flicked through ('The Message' springs to mind as a particularly horrible example) have seemed a bit comical, but the King James Bible is full of great poetry and language.

I'm also interested in what you mean by 'realist'!

Bragi
08-03-2010, 02:45 PM
If I'd been asked to do the same,it would have been a long,rambling and frequently bitter screed against human corruption.The conclusion, I would put to it,though, would be 'I eat cynic(ancient greek philosphical cynics) bread,leavened with taoist yeast.The bread being the body of Christ'.