Was it...worth it?

[Nobody]

Everyone knows this situation:

Girfriend breaks up >>> maybe she did something terribly wrong >>> you're absolutely crushed >>> people tell you she just wasn't worth it.

Wrong! Let me paint you a picture:

My girfriend broke up with me friday of last week...we lasted 15 months. We had ups and downs, consisting of having sex for the very first time with one another (actually with anyone for that matter), laughs, closeness, tenderness, intimacy, romance,her sleeping with another boy, constant lying, her kissing other men and finally breaking up with me for the 3 and final time, telling me, that she needed time for herself, and that she loved no-one else but me, just to end up with some other guy five days after she broke up with me.

I was crushed. I was a total wreck. I couldn't stop crying. So many memories just won't let me forget her.

And just now...I was outside, smoking a cig...one of the many habbits I've started with because of her.

And I noticed:

Why does this hurt so much? Why am I so afraid of letting go? It's because I'm afraid of being a part of her life no more. I wanted to be an influence, so that she would always remember me. And while smoking my cigarette, it went ''click!''. I AM a part of her life! I was for the past 15 months, and I always will be. everytime she thinks about me, even if she forgets my name. For all I care, she can remember me as "That first guy I fucked". I'll still be a part of her day, when she does think about me. I don't need recognition for being a part of her life and possibly changing how she feels about some things, or even for changing her views on her own life. I know I did and that alone is enough for me to say: "Why be sad? I've changed her life just like she changed mine."

I'll even step out on a limb and say: Saying "Chris, cheer up! She just wasn't worth it!" is somewhat juvenile. She was worth it! The pain she put me through...the tears, the sweat, everything we poured into this relationship has built who I am at this moment...along with everything else, that has happened to me up 'til now. The poems I have written. The drawings I have made...it all came from the experience this relationship has brought with it. I am even grateful for her getting me to smoke. If I hadn't stepped outside to take a smoke, it probably would've taken me so much longer to realise what I just have.

So...was she worth it? She was. And I was glad that she was the biggest part of me up until now. And I am glad to say: The pain may not completely go away, after all that has happened. But neither will she. :)



Opinions?

[smorzando]

hmm... I've never had a bf, but I can see where you're coming from. My mum holds the same opinion about guys that she was with before she met Dad... so yeah.

smorz.

[Yog]

There is much to the philosophy that our lives are the sum total of our experiences and our genetics, so I don't disagree with you at all. It is also worth saying that if that thought brings you a bit of comfort and eases your pain then it is definitely a good thing. You will likely run/have run a whole gambit of emotions in this breakup, but that is normal so don't feel bad about it.

[Mr. Blocks]

To answer "was she worth it". It is a matter of opinion, from the sounds of it, I would have to say no, it wouldn't have been worth me going through all that for what you got out of it.

Sure, I'd say most of us experience things just the way you had right there, but the majority of the time I wouldn't say it was worth going through.

For you it seems to strike a yes, it was worth it. If it was your first time, then it probbaly would have been worth the experience of going through what you did. It is the only way you learn.

But if the same happens again, you probably will feel different about it. It becomes ever so tiring. In the end we are all animals, with our needs and what have you. It is however a shame in how a lot of us can not seem to control our instincts and feat on others good natures.

To end this comment, I do commend you on being able to have such a nice outlook on it. I would imagine a lot of people wouldn't be able to do that.

You should also take a look at yourself, and think why you feel the need to still be apart of her life. It would perhaps enlighten you on what you are.

[Introspective]

I think his question was posed rhetorically.

" To answer "was she worth it". It is a matter of opinion, from the sounds of it, I would have to say no, it wouldn't have been worth me going through all that for what you got out of it."

Than was very enjoyable read, very uplifting and triumphant. Cheers, thank you for the post :)

[Frippagumble]

The question seems rather morbid to me; Was she (a person, an individual, a soul, whateveryacallit) worth (an expression of value) it (a thing, a number)?

Even if I spend one night with an ugly prostitute who gives me a disease, however horrible it may be, I wouldn't turn it back. (I'd want to, but I know it would be wrong) After all I chose to be with another person and interactions like those are very valuable in my opinion (even if they seem shallow and 'worthless' at first sight).

Having had such a love in your life will affect and enrich you in more ways than you can imagine or find out, so I'm happy for you too.

[ravenmoonmaiden]

all love is worth it no matter how long it lasts as it teaches about who we are and can help us with our next relationship

[Esko]

Everyone knows this situation:

Girfriend breaks up >>> maybe she did something terribly wrong >>> you're absolutely crushed >>> people tell you she just wasn't worth it.

Wrong! Let me paint you a picture:

My girfriend broke up with me friday of last week...we lasted 15 months. We had ups and downs, consisting of having sex for the very first time with one another (actually with anyone for that matter), laughs, closeness, tenderness, intimacy, romance,her sleeping with another boy, constant lying, her kissing other men and finally breaking up with me for the 3 and final time, telling me, that she needed time for herself, and that she loved no-one else but me, just to end up with some other guy five days after she broke up with me.

I was crushed. I was a total wreck. I couldn't stop crying. So many memories just won't let me forget her.

And just now...I was outside, smoking a cig...one of the many habbits I've started with because of her.

And I noticed:

Why does this hurt so much? Why am I so afraid of letting go? It's because I'm afraid of being a part of her life no more. I wanted to be an influence, so that she would always remember me. And while smoking my cigarette, it went ''click!''. I AM a part of her life! I was for the past 15 months, and I always will be. everytime she thinks about me, even if she forgets my name. For all I care, she can remember me as "That first guy I fucked". I'll still be a part of her day, when she does think about me. I don't need recognition for being a part of her life and possibly changing how she feels about some things, or even for changing her views on her own life. I know I did and that alone is enough for me to say: "Why be sad? I've changed her life just like she changed mine."

I'll even step out on a limb and say: Saying "Chris, cheer up! She just wasn't worth it!" is somewhat juvenile. She was worth it! The pain she put me through...the tears, the sweat, everything we poured into this relationship has built who I am at this moment...along with everything else, that has happened to me up 'til now. The poems I have written. The drawings I have made...it all came from the experience this relationship has brought with it. I am even grateful for her getting me to smoke. If I hadn't stepped outside to take a smoke, it probably would've taken me so much longer to realise what I just have.

So...was she worth it? She was. And I was glad that she was the biggest part of me up until now. And I am glad to say: The pain may not completely go away, after all that has happened. But neither will she. :)



Opinions?

That's really horrible :(

I would say it was still worth it. You probably learned a lot of things