Please leave a message Game

[Flutterings]

1) Do not post your real names
2) Do not post any phone numbers :P


Okay so you post your RESPONSE to the person above you's answer phone message.

Then you post a fictional answer phone message.


Hello. You have reached Darth Vader. If your call is urgent you can call me on my cell phone. I wont tell you the number. Use the force. Beep.

[Jay]

May the force be with you too Darth Vadar.

Hi, Mouseketeers this is Mickey Mouse. Busy with Minnie right now but leave your message. BEEP BEEP

[Flutterings]

Mom?............. mom?........ mom um.... hello? .... your really not there?..... ok..... um.......... well.... im in jail. come get me.. uh.. when you get back. thanks.



You are lost, dazed and confused, in a place without time where sound collides with color and shadows explode! You see a signpost up ahead. This is no ordinary answering device- you have reached, the Twilight Phone...

[Biggy]

if I could physically smack you for subjecting me to this message, I would.


Hi, I know I just texted you and asked you to call me, but here's the thing, while you're listening to this message it gave me the time to put my clothes back on and climb out of your bedroom window, shimmy down the drainpipe and start my car up while you were still stood in the hallway wondering what's so important. So anyway .... how's the wife ?

[Flutterings]

Who is this?! Micheal?! Micheal who?!? Hello?!?!


Hello, thank you for phoning the suicide hotline. If you are feeling suicidal, please leave a message and we will get back to you within one working week. Thank you [beep]

[smorzando]

You're a suicide hotline, but you make people wait and leave a message? they coulda just overdosed and be about to die!! eff you too!

the metaphorical catalyst in this story is the young lady, who is a recreation of the author's early life... as you can tell throughout the book, ms hillier makes very good use of... oh yes yes.. sorry. you have reached professor hogsworth's phone. as you can tell, i'm in a lecture, so please leave the message after the beep.

[Angel]

Professor, I forgot how to write again, please can I submit this essay via text?


Youvve reached my answering machine it likes to talk to people talk to it. It will then eat my messages and i will never know you have called or that is the excuse i will give you if you ask why i did not call you back. Beep

[Pony]

I am here to exorcise the demons in your answering machine. Machine be cleansed!!!!!!

Hello!! You've reached the barn phone. I'm scooping poop right now so if you wanna talk you gotta come over and help me.

[smorzando]

Um, sure... if you want. Mind you, it might take me a while to get there, seeing as I'm coming from Australia. Ah well, I'll meet you there say... December 5th? I'll start walking now.

Hi, sorry I cant come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message the dog will let me know... assuming he doesnt eat the answering machine in the process. But you wont, WILL YOU, ROCKY? *sound of plastic and metal crunching*
..
crap..

[Pony]

Bad dog!! Get away from the phone or I'll sick my kitty on you. There will be no doggy treats for you tonight!

Thanks for calling. There is an elephant in my lap right now and I'm feeling rather flat. Please press 1 to remove the elephant.

[Mickalangelo]

dad... mom's not an elephant... call me back when ur done with mom though.



goodmorning, thank you for calling. don't bother leaving a message I never call back anyway. have a great day.

[NeenyWeeny]

*hangs up*

Hello....? Hello are you there? I cant hear you! The line must be bad.....Hellooooo?......Gotcha!!! Sorry I cant come to the phone right now,Its because I dont like you. Please leave a message after the tone you dumbass! *BEEP*

[Pony]

*crying* But how do you know if you like me or not. We've never even met.

Howdy ya'll! I's working on the farm right now. Ifin you wanna talk just tell Lullerbell you called and she'll get the message to me.

[Timci]

Howdy Lullerbell, this is Buckwheat, I be needing that truck of cow manure you promised me the other day. The crops aint doin too good so i gotta spread the doody soon as possible. Ya'll come back now, ya here?

Thank you for calling the "I wanna eat a hotdog" group, subsidiary of "I wanna eat big meat" incorporated. Unfortunately, all of our operators are busy assisting other customers right now. Please your name, number, and weiner specifications after the beep, and someone will be in touch with you shortly. Have a pigtastic day!

[NeenyWeeny]

Hey, yeah its my 3 inch brokwurst, It split when i cooked it, Please help! Or shall i call the police? Get back to me!

Hey this is the suicide hotline

*hold music for 30mins*

Im sorry all of our operators are busy right now, Call a friend or stay on the line.

[smorzando]

*groans in frustration and gives up*

slinky............ *stares mesmerised at it* i like slinkies.... dont you? *beep*

[life~death]

slinky? WTF? *coughs* weirdo *coughs* sure, i like them

Thank you for calling Big Slinky Lovers. Unfortunately, all of our slinkys are busy just now, so why dont you play with your own slinky for awhile then call back or you could call Slinky lovers Anonymous, the hotline that helps you loose your addiction to slinkys

[smorzando]

slinky.... springy slinky...... orange springy slinky...... *drools*

*loud rock music*
HI, i cant hear you!!!!! call me back, I'm playing a gig!

[k2hsharpe]

You can't hear me?
You can't hear me ??
I can't hear me neither,
coz I'm your ferkin neighbour !!!
WILL YOU TURN THAT SHIT DOWN BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE !!!


"I'm fat, I'm old and I'm bald .....
go find some other idiot to be your friend.

PS there is no beeeping beep
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha aaaaaaaaaaah!
Cough Cough Splutter Cough Hack Blurt
AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgh
............................
............................
............................
Beep Beep Beep"

[life~death]

but i wanna be your friend :(
*goes away and cries*



"hello?
can you hear me?
are you even there?"

[Jay]

Nope not here ... :P

Your calling the wrong number I have decided to move and so this number will not be answered ... beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

[k2hsharpe]

It hung up on me ?
Even machines hang up on me ??
What is wrong with my life ???

Hi, you've reached my phone. Whatever you do, say something. Please don't hang up. Don't even wait for the 'Beep'. Just start talking. Now. Right now. Right this very mome ...
Beeeeeeeeep

*aaah, thankyou, thankyou, that is sooo good .... *

[psychobabe]

did i phone the wrong number?

Hello and welcome to BT answering machine, please leave your message after the tone, but on second thought's is there a tone at all mabye i just won't play it and you'll have to wait all forever to leave your message...you know this job is really boring...mabye we should switch places, then you'll have to sit around all day saying hello and welcome to fucking BT answering machine...hmmm....hmmm!!!

[Flutterings]

Aaaaaaaah! God ! Your answering machine is angry babe!! I wanted to call about last night... I'm really sorry okay? I just.... well... I thought you were on the pill... call me.




Velkom. If you leave a message, I vill kill you. So you should hang .. BEEP

[madkill]

"so I should..what? hang myself? I'm not doing that, no way would I be so stupid as to do something that'd get me killed"




This message is not real, you and I are not real, if you want to die because you are not real and therefore do not care about dying then please, let this beep explode your mind...Ding-Dong!

[Yog]

Solipsism+acid=nasty trip

Hello, you've reached a house with a phone. Any more than that I cannot say for the exact state of being of the occupants is necessarily uncertain since the recording of this message. In fact, it is not even certain if the occupants currently residing in this residence are even the occupants with which you seek to speak. I therefore respectfully request that you either leave or don't leave a message depending on whether you think you are contacting or not contacting the person or persons with which you wish to speak. beeeeep

[Jay]

I hate answering machines ... click

Just leave a message I don't want to talk to anyone, maybe I will call you back maybe I will just delete you ..... beep.

[smorzando]

Well if that's the case then don't bother leaving your answering machine on too! *hangs up*

Hi... you've reached the nail polish lover's anonymous hotline. All of our operators are busy painting their nails at the moment, so please leave a message and one of us will get back to you.

[madkill]

Hi yea..I was just letting you know that someone is about to blow up your call centre so...well I couldn't really give a damn if you all die your tips of painting finger nails are terrible, yea...Bye!

the number you have tried to call, 9..1..1 has been changed, to a non published number to select your mode of death follow these instructions, press...for quick and painless or select any of the other 10 digits for, slow and painful.

[Mostyn]

press what?? press what??? oh no!! wha'da'i'do wha'da'i'do???



hi, you've reached my personal hotline, please give me a compelling reason to call you back....

[Nobody]

I accidentaly ran over your dog...and your wife wanted to save him and got hit by the truck behind me...I also ran over your kid, while putting the car in reverse, to see how much damage I did...sorry...my bad...*click*

Please leave a message with your number and address...I'm really needy and horny...*beep*

[Musical-Mind]

erm....i don't know i just wanted to talk to some one *cries*

Hi, you've reached the dark catacombs in The Phantoms Of Opera's mind, please leave a message and i'll get back to you......if i can...bye :D

[unbittentongue]

Hi I was calling to see if my newspaper was on your door step, it just that I didn't get mine today and thought my house was skipped.. is this the right number?..er.


Hi you've reached Dora the explorer's family home? If you're looking for Dora, please tell her I said "Get your a** home now young lady, you've been out for over a f***king week!" Thanks! Oh and if your calling about the garden gnome collection in the paper ad, it's been sold already, but we appreciate the call!

[Introspective]

DAMN IT, that would have completed my collection!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG, I am so glad you called!!! I was like, going to buy exactly one of those!!! I'm not in right now but I can't wait to give you my credit card number over the phone!!! Please leave your name, state of residence, home address, and the hours you work, I really want to talk to you too....

[Musical-Mind]

erm....well it looks like i called the wrong people never mind >.>

hello this is the happy bunny encorporation, we would take your call but we have better things to do so leave a message bye ^_^ *note: happy bunny is not all that nice*

[Introspective]

Ummm, yeah, it seems the bunny you sold me is trying to eat my children....

ThanK you for calling 1-900- BUBBA LUV, Ladies have you had a hard day, but what you need is a hard night, leave a message at the tone for BUBBA LOVE, BUBBA LOVE understands...

[Nobody]

Yo bubba...I have something hard for you to sing soft about...heheh...

I don't care who you are...just leave a fucking message...I'm sick and tired of hearing:

"*silence* *click*" ...if you don't, I WILL find you...and I WILL leave you a message you won't forget. *beep*

[unbittentongue]

*old grandma voice* Billy..? Sweetie its grams.. have you been taking your meds? Any-hoo I made those waffles you love so dearly.. why don't you come over and let me pinch those cheeks of yours..

Tina: I'm Tina!
Nina: And I'm Nina!
Both: And we're not home!
Tina: I'm a sorority girl with fake breasts!
Nina: So am I!
Both: (giggles) We love partying, too!
Tina: Leave a message
Nina: And we'll call back!
Both: *clear throats and now speak manly* And we're really men.

[Nobody]

I'd like to get to know the two of you, anyway.

GODDAMN YOU!!! IF I GET MY FINGER ON THAT FAT ASS OF YOURS I'M GONNA SODOMI- oh...i-it's recording? ARGH! *beep*

[Musical-Mind]

erm...must you people be so violent...*cries*

Hi, this is lolli colli, me and my brain aren't here right now so please leave a message after the beepty beep beep :)

[Nobody]

Hey...lolli? I'm terribly sorry...I do believe I forgot my testicles over at your house...

Hey, this is spongebob squarepants! AHAHAHA!!!! *beep*

[Musical-Mind]

Hey, Sponge where do you think i can get a snail like yours????

Hola! Esta la Casa de Pedro, me no esta a mi casa, porfavor leave a message after the buzzy beep. *bbbuzzzz....beeeep*

[Nobody]

Servus dominam non amat.

Make like a tree and leaf. *beep*

[Musical-Mind]

aww, but i don't have a tree.....

Sup Dawg, this here is the super fly residence of gangstaliciousness, leave a message after this fly beep homez *beeeeeep*

[Nobody]

I EAT LITTLE CHILDREN!!!

WE EAT LITTLE CHILDREN!!! *beep*

[Musical-Mind]

erm....so you guys are the reason why the neighborhood kids are missing...DARN YOU!!!

Yo! this is the house of Troy...not the city dude i own a surf shop! so like leave a message dude!!!! Rock on Man!!!!! WHOOOO!!!! *BEEEEEP*

[Nobody]

*sigh* I love you

Hello? I am currently not available. Please try one of the other girls. I doubt you'd be able to afford me anyway.

[Musical-Mind]

erm...i can afford you i have like a billion dollars.

Hi! *giggles* My name is Tiffany, There's Like this totally hot guy that i have to like talk to so, could you like leave me a message please....Like BEEEP!!!

[Nobody]

Hey babe...it's me...I was like...wondering...when do I get to diddle you?

Hi! I'm ELMO!! My VOICE! is annoying AS HELL!!! *beep*

[Musical-Mind]

OMG ELMOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Heyz, i is like not here right now, so could you leave me a message. Peace dudez!!! *BEEEP*

[Nobody]

Peace!? you have peace!? let's smoke it!!!

Duuuude....killer....the telephone is like...recording stuff...woaaaah...*beep*

[Musical-Mind]

Dude...Man...Its's like....FREAKING AWESOME!!!

ok, leave a message and i just might get back to you...if i feel like it....whatever. *beep*

[Nobody]

get back to meee!!! *cries*

Hewwoh...dis is meh, tryin' to beh cyoot. wuv meh! *beep*

[FingerpaintingsoftheInsane]

I don't need money to have you... I'm under your staircase right now. Your so pretty.... *laughs maniacally*

Hello this is Satan... I am currently doing everything you abhor and/or have nightmares about. I also have caller ID here in hell with all your specifics on it. I'll make sure to stop by on December 25th dressed as Satan Claws to see what circle of hell you want to be cast in. Please don't bother leaving a message because I don't like you and you probably don't like me. If you do then go on and leave a message, I'll get back to you. I'm freaky like that. *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEP* *Gurgle, gurgle* *Screams of torture*

[Musical-Mind]

Erm....you doude man person could you like tone down the madness the mad hater has, cuz it's freaking me out.

Hi *snikers* This is Tony and i reallllllllly have to go cuz i gotz budniss i needs to take care of, so i'll hit you up later dude. *beep*

[Nobody]

D:

Please leave a message...I will not get back to you...I'm in hell

[FingerpaintingsoftheInsane]

Damn I lost another one to that stupid fallen angel.

Hello this is your friendly neighborhood priestess. If you need me to heal you please press 1. If you need me to curse someone please press 2. If you didn't know I was a priestess please........ *BEEEEEP*

[Musical-Mind]

D: i didn't know...i'm sorry...why does every one hate me *cries*

Holaaaaa!!! *giggles* mi llamo es Maria, no esta a mi casa, porque mi novio y mi estamos a la cimina, provafor salir a la carta despues las beep....*BEEP*

[FingerpaintingsoftheInsane]

Matveh delieneheh veh arye helbehenehem. Long live mother Russia. Damn I got the mexicans again.


This is the message that doesn't end it just goes on and on my friends, some people started hearing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue hearing it forever just because this is the message that doesn't end it just goes on and on my friends some people started hearing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue hearing it forever just because this is the................(3 hours later.) If you are still on the line please leave a message it must be really damn important. *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

[Musical-Mind]

erm....no hable ingles, mi nombre jorge.

Hey, what's up dude i'm not here now so leave me a message and i might get back to you.....*BEEPPPPP!!!!!!!*

[pagan1]

Hey how ya doing
Sorry ya can't get through
Why don't you leave your name
And your number
And I'll get back to you
Hey how are ya doin
Sorry you can't get through
Why don't you leave your name and your number
And I'll get back to you

Just wanted to let you know that you have won $1,000,000 and that it will be deposited into your account tomorrow...bye.


Pizza for everyone,extra toppings,extra cheese...mmm...throw in a few vegatarian just in case...and by the way if it's not delivered in 5 minutes it's free right?

[Musical-Mind]

Hola, you quiero un Piza con pepperoni y qeso, mi nombre Julio Lopez. Gracias!

Hello, you have reached the residence of The Fantabulously Awesomeness that is Spectaculiciousness, I'm out being splendiferously Megacoolawesometastic. so leave a message after the splendifulously fantastical beep....*BEEPitytasticallyness-ness*

[FingerpaintingsoftheInsane]

What????

I hate you all. Get out. Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.... *sound of gunshots and cursing* Please... *Panting and heavy breathing* leave your number after the... *Final gunshot*
*BEEEEEEEP*

[Musical-Mind]

OMG!!!!! erm....nevermind?

Hi! you have reached Marcy Nightz, I'm trying to runaway from this psycho at the moment so leave a message and hopefully i'll get back to you....BYE *BEEP*

[VersesofTheStreet]

"hello? talk??? LIFE TO ANYONE?!?!? AH FUCK IT!!! oh... it's recording CRAP! Uh you've reached my answeing machine PLEASE DON'T HANG UP!!! leave a message at the beep"

this is my actual answering machine!!!

[Musical-Mind]

OMG!!! @_@ O_O!!! erm...bye....

Hey Peeps, It's Karmen, I not her now acuz I gots ta go get ta muh speak thurapistz bout me talkn...leave a message after the beep...ciao!! *BEEP*

[VersesofTheStreet]

Hey! It's Arri, crap, I sound like a dork... BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP leave a message BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP you talk now...

[Musical-Mind]

wow....just wow

K, I'm Candy I'm at cheerleading right now, so please leave me a message *giggles* bye *BEEP*

[Nobody]

I know...I see you...in that small skirt...and they way you're bouncing up and down...it just spins me right 'round.



HI! I'm chester! UP YOURS! WHERE LIFE IS FUCKING LOUD! HAHA! *beep*

[Poets Muse]

So........i have nothing to say but i'm going to tell you i have nothing to say, therefore cancelling out my previous statement of havng nothin gto say because i had to say that i had nothing to say even though i had something to say. That something being that i had nothing to say even though i did have something to say *this message has been automatically deleted by me, your answering machine because my circuit board was starting to overload I mean, did you hear how fast she talked? *

*Cough cough* This is my answering machine. If you have called me to tell me something urgent then press the big red button to GO AWAY! If you have called to tell me something unimportant than press the big red button to GO AWAY! If you have called to schedule a meeting of either formal or informal interactions than press the big red button to GO AWAY! If it is of anything else then you know what to do. Beep.